Before having children I absolutely knew what raising a good kid took and what keeping a tidy house would look like. I just KNEW how I was going to raise my children and they would only watch about 13 minutes of television a week and eat all wholesome food because I just knew that's what a good parent would do. Then...I had kids. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I was constantly questioning my every move. I remember thinking things like, "Can I do that? Wait, if its not perfectly done for my child, I'll mess them up for life! Right?" Oh how much time and energy I had wasted in doubting myself and my capabilities in parenting. I'm pretty sure the first 4 months of my firstborns life were wasted on senseless worrying. I remember when my son was only a few weeks old I had to supplement with formula instead of nurse. I cried. CRIED. I cried because I felt like a bad mom. If I wasn't nursing my baby, I wasn't giving him the very best and the very best was all that would do for my baby. What a lie I believed for so long. God chose to entrust us with these tiny humans because He knew we could do it and we're very capable. There is a catch though. The catch is that we are only truly happy and capable when we let go of what our plans are not only for ourselves but for our children as well and trust in Gods plan. My plans on what kind of mother I was going to be were very different from Gods plans and it took me a while to figure that out. It also took me a while to figure out that this parenting gig looks nothing like what social media or television portray it to be. With all this being said, I'm definitely not saying you shouldn't have a game plan or that you should just abandon any of your ideas of what you would like for you and your family. I'm just saying we all need to rely on the Lord more and learn to find balance.
I became more at peace with myself as a parent and wife when I realized balance does not mean perfection. Balance is not having a made from scratch meal on the table, dishes, laundry, the housework done and having a perfectly decorated tidy house. At one point in time I remember thinking completing all of those tasks in one day (while spending quality time with my children) meant I was finding balance. Instead (not realizing it at the time), I was trying to obtain perfection not balance. Perfect does not exist, but finding balance and peace does. Balance for me was choosing tasks to complete and letting the rest go. I might choose to finish my laundry, but the sticky substance on my kitchen table can wait. I may choose to take my kids to the library but the toys all over the floor will just have to sit there for a while longer and you know what happened when I started to let go of obtaining perfection? I found peace. I was happier. Letting go of the small stuff and realizing not every little thing had to be done in one day was freeing.
Are you trying to obtain perfection or are you truly seeking out ways to bring balance and peace into your life? I hope you all have a great week and God bless!