I'm almost 20 weeks pregnant with two toddlers whose demands never seem to cease. I haven't been sleeping well on top of that, so exhaustion is settling in and coffee doesn't really do the trick. My husband has to work late tonight and I'm not feeling that well today. I would say that I do not suffer well. After feeling sorry for myself, I then ran across an article about a woman who has brain cancer and is going to have the help from doctors to end her life "peacefully" on November 1st. The article I read disturbed me, although I feel nothing but compassion and sadness for the 29 year old woman with brain cancer I couldn't help but think, "Why?" Why would anyone want to chose the day they die to avoid the suffering? The doctors have given her 6 months to live, but what if she was to live 1 maybe 2 months longer? There is no dreaming about a "what if" in her case if she decides to go through with this. Again, I really debated on whether or not I should even write about this topic, but I really feel nothing but love and compassion for this young women. I can not even begin to relate to what she is going through, but I do know I have read the stories of young women like Chiara Luce Badano. Women who have suffered greatly and have become heroes because of it. There is something about reading stories of suffering, that includes the passion of Christ that moves us. Suffering is not beautiful, but we can find true beauty within it. Christ suffered on the cross and it wasn't convenient for Him nor tidy. But, it was beautiful because that suffering He allowed Himself to go through saved us all.
I then read another blog about a 36 year old woman who has 4 young children and who also has breast cancer. The blog is a sort of response to the 29 year old girl who is planning her death. It is so well written. Here is the link: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/10/dear-brittany-why-we-dont-have-to-be-so-afraid-of-dying-suffering-that-we-choose-suicide/
Here are some blurbs from the blog that really moved me and caused me to look at my own life and realize my "suffering" isn't really suffering. Being a mom is hard, but sometimes...I'm just complaining. Which is okay to do every now and then for my survival as a mother but it is good for me to get a reality check too.
"In your choosing your own death, you are robbing those that love you with the such tenderness, the opportunity of meeting you in your last moments and extending you love in your last breaths.
As I sat on the bed of my young daughter praying for you, I wondered over the impossibility of understanding that one day the story of my young daughter will be made beautiful in her living because she witnessed my dying.
That last kiss, that last warm touch, that last breath, matters — but it was never intended for us to decide when that last breath is breathed.
Knowing Jesus, knowing that He understands my hard goodbye, He walks with me in my dying. My heart longs for you to know Him in your dying. Because in His dying, He protected my living. My living beyond this place."