Well, hello! It's been awhile...like, a whole month and half has gone by and I haven't blogged. I've been pretty busy having a baby and adjusting to becoming a mother of 3. First things first, let me introduce you to the newest member of our family...Lucy! She was born on March 5th and has stolen all of our hearts. I was a little naïve in thinking, "Oh, I've got two kids...this transition will be a breeze..." Although it has been an overall great transition, I can't believe how busy I've been! Juggling the needs of 3, while making sure the house stays in tact and trying to have a social life has been harder than I thought it would be. However, Lucy is just shy of 2 months so we still have some time to get in the groove of things and adjust to our new normal. Overall, I'd have to say we have been pretty blessed.
Lucy's baptism is this weekend, we are excited to be able to get her baptized during the Easter season. It's so fitting, just as Jesus gave us new life through dying, Lucy will be a new creation in God's eyes on Sunday and it will in some sense be the beginning of her new life in the Church. Having a baby during Lent was interesting. I definitely had big plans for Lent, but once Lucy came the chocolate was going down like no tomorrow and my other Lenten sacrifices were not happening. However, this was good for me. God always has better ideas and plans for us than we can have for ourselves and His plan was just that...better.
Throughout Lent God was teaching me how to trust in Him.
Right before Lucy was born, Sophia was sick with RSV. From what I know of newborns getting RSV, that would mean a hospital stay for the little one if she was to get it. I was worried sick for my unborn girl. Then, my mom got sick with RSV. Now I had a 2 year old recovering from RSV and my mom who would be helping me with my newborn(who was due any minute) had gotten sick. I was 40 weeks pregnant and felt like God wasn't showing me much mercy. At my 40 week appointment, I went in to see the doctor that morning who would then tell me I was 40 weeks pregnant and only dilated 1 cm! (Tears may have been shed by me that morning.) I'll spare you all the other stories, but seriously...there was so much going on during lent, I was starting to get mad at God. I was starting to have major anxiety and I felt like I was in the desert with Jesus and I wanted out.
So, there I was March 4th (my due date) about to crawl into bed, worried sick about when the baby would come. If the baby came soon would she get sick, should we have my mom stay in a hotel since she was sick, who would come help with the baby then, or would I seriously go all the way being uncomfortable and have to be induced at 41 weeks...all of these thoughts and more swirled through my mind and I couldn't help but cry. My husband tried to comfort me and then said, "Amanda, trust in Jesus. Everything will be okay..." I decided right then and there, I was tired. I was tired of being grumpy. I was tired of worrying. I then closed my eyes and told the Lord that I truly trusted in Him. I told our Lord that He is bigger than any sickness, He's bigger than any problem I was having and that I give up....I can't do it alone and I just trust in Him.
Not long after that prayer...I started going into labor. About 2 hours 1/2 hours later, Lucy was born. Lucy was born and she never got sick. My Mom started to feel better when we were in the hospital and everything was....FINE. God gave me a beautiful gift this Lent...it wasn't to show me how disciplined I could be by giving up sweets or sticking to a prayer plan. His plan was to take me through the desert with Him and at the end...He gave me new life in more than one way. He gave me a healthy daughter and new perspective.
I know I will go through trials again, but through this experience I hope now that I can go through trials not alone, but with Him by my side trusting in His plan. I worried endlessly during my pregnancy with Lucy. I hate to say it but all that worry was really for nothing. God was there all along telling me not to worry and to offer up my sufferings to Him. In the end, once I gave in and let Him in completely...everything was good. I hope you all had a great lent and are having a wonderful Easter. God bless!